Adoptee Tag Q+A

Sometime last year, Youtube had or has a challenge going called the Adoptee Tag. This challenge was created by Youtuber, @thehereandnao. Her video link is down below.

The purpose of this tag is to have Adoptees answer about 18 questions related to their personal adoption experience. Here are my 18 questions below. If you are an adoptee and you are reading my Q+A, I hope you find the inspiration to take on the Adoptee Tag challenge. Be in inspiration to others. The best story is your own!

1.Where are you adopted from?

Middletown, CT

2. Where do you live now?

North Carolina

2. How old were you when you were adopted?

5 yrs. old

3. When did you find out you were adopted?

As soon as I was able to understand

4. Do you tell people that you're adopted?

Should the topic come up, I share that I am adopted

5. Do you like to know about your heritage?


6. Have you been back to your birth place?

No, however, I later moved to New London, CT after I was adopted. New London is about 40 minutes away from Middletown, CT.

7. Do you speak your birth language?

From what I know, my birth language is English

8. How was it growing up adopted?

Growing up adopted had it’s challenges. My adopted parents did a wonderful job raising me.

9. Have you done a birth parent search / found your birth parents?

I know my birth mother has always lived in CT and currently resides in New London, CT. My biological father passed away.

10. How would you define your identity now as an adoptee?

Now that I am an adult adoptee, I would define myself as an adoption advocate and a voice of many. I wouldn’t say adoption defines me. I just use my experience to help others with a similar story to tell.

11. Do you know many other adoptees?

I do not know many other adoptees. I have met a few via Instagram and Facebook.

12. What's something people may not know about what it's like to be adopted?

Adoption is trauma. It’s not a gift as many people think. I am happy to have my adopted parents, who took me in and love me unconditionally. God definitely brought us together for a reason.

13. Do you think being adopted has affected your relationships / trust ?

Although I smile and laugh a lot, it takes me a long time to let people in. I don’t trust easy.

14. Do you have any siblings? Are they adopted?

I have about 17 siblings total including my adopted siblings

4 from my adopted family

5 from my biological family on my birth mothers side

Once brother from this side of the family is adopted.

8 from my biological family on my birth fathers side

15. What is your relationship like with your AP?

Great! As a child and teen, I had trouble because I had no way to express my feelings of wanting to know my biological family. My questions would seem to hurt them. No one I knew around me was adopted so no one really understood all the emotions I had built up inside of me. Now that I am older, I still have some difficulty talking about my adoption but my relationship with my adopted parents is a lot better.

16. What would you say to your birth parents if you could ?

It hurts me that I will never get to meet my biological father. I would give anything to have just one conversation with him. I would ask my mother why she made the decision to give me away.

17. Would you adopt a kid yourself?

Yes I would adopt a child myself.

18. Apart from being adopted how else do you identify?

I network to connect with other adoptees. I advocate for changes that need to be made with the US adoption system. Medical history needs to be shared so a child is aware and does not grow up not knowing their medical history. Birth Certificates should not be changed to show the adopted parents names. These are just a 2 changes I hope to see change in the adoption community.

The best story to tell is your own

Dear Adoption

Who are you? What are you?

Why am I here? Why are you here?

What is going on? What is this place?

You are in a better place.

How do you know?

These people love you. They want to see you grow!

But who am I? Where did I come from?

Your Birth Mother isn’t around, she’s going through a tough time. Your Birth Father, he's been found but keep him forever in your mind.

I don't know what I am doing or where I am going?

These new people love me? Is my happiness showing?

She said it was something in my eyes, for the reason they chose me.

She couldn’t have children and God put together this family.

I am still confused, what do I do?

Why wasn't I loved enough to be kept?

As a baby, why was I never tucked in as I slept.

Your new parents will tuck you in now! Everything is ok.

How do you know? Make the pain go away?

Do I have any siblings?

As you grow, you'll come to find out that you have about 9 or so brothers and about just as many sisters.

Your new parents do love you, so don't be scared.

It may take me a while to trust but I will go with them.

Are you hungry?

Yes I am?

What would you like?

Hamburgers and hit dogs please!

Is that all you will eat?

I don’t know, well see.

That was a long ride…are we there yet?

She's so quiet, do you think she likes us or understands?

Adoption is love and we love you very much.

This is your forever home, we are your parents.

We will always care for you and protect you because you are our daughter.

I am your daughter, so I can call you Mommy and Daddy?

I have a Mommy and Daddy, Adoption, did you hear that?

Yes, you now have a Mother and Father, and you life has changed for the better. In each and every way.

Are you still scared?

A little?

Are you nervous?

A little?

Well settle in, your adoption is real.

As of September 4, 1996, I grant you this family who will take care of you when you're sick, cold and scared.

Who will love you and talk to you when you think no one is there.

Adoption has been able to connect families all over the world. Embrace your new life.

At times it will be difficult.

Adoption, where are you going?

I'll always be here but your life is not defined by me.

Your parents will guide you through this life.

You’ve come a long way and my look how you've grown.

Adoption where is my birth mother? Why hasn’t she shown?

I have a hole I can't fill and Im almost grown.

Never mind I'm ok, I'll meet her one day, or not.

Adoption, are you there?

Mom, Dad, I love you and I know that you care.

Happy Adoption Anniversary, I am thankful I have you here.

My question, why, still goes unanswered. I won't let it overcome me.

I have the best parents any young woman could for cant you see.

Adoption, there you are. I’m very doing well.

I knew all along you would find your way.

Adoption, I now understand why you went away.

I am forever loved and cared for just like you said I would be.

I'll do anything for my parents that comes unconditionally.

Adoption, you have been great! Thank you for making my life better.

Continue to help adoptees find a home, always and FOREVER!

For Arthur

A name can tell you so much about a person. For me, my name is all I have to remember my biological father, Arthur. I've always found it interesting to learn that I was named after him. My name is very unique and not many people in the world have it.

From what I've been told, my father was a military man, and a loving man and father. Arthur fathered 9 children and I was the youngest out of everyone. Due to my closed adoption, my sibling knew I existed but never knew where I was. It wasn’t until the early part of 2018 when one of my older brothers found me via Facebook. As you could have imagined, I was overwhelmed with joy to finally begin to have my puzzle pieces put together. My brother and I talked via text messages for days sharing as much information as we could about one another.

For every joy that passes, something beautiful remains

I have nothing but joy in my heart to know and understand that I was part of your journey through life. I would not be here if it wasn't for you. There is not one day that goes by that I don't think about you. Our angel above, continue to watch over me and the rest of your children. No matter the path we take in life, I know that I am not alone!

Getting Your Mind Out of Park

We constantly need self development because our lives are always changing. Just like many individuals in the world around us, we need constant motivation and encouragement to keep pushing forward. Below, you will find a list of things you can do to help keep you inspired.

You have been given this mountain to show others it can be moved…

  1. Take a walk/exercise

  2. Read a new book or article to exercise your mind

  3. Re-identify what you would like to accomplish

  4. Research a new strategy

  5. Spend quiet time alone for reflection and refocus

  6. Seek positive energy

  7. Acknowledge and appreciate your strengths

  8. Believe in yourself

  9. Encourage yourself

  10. Trust your process